I've read and heard some of the stories that you all have told. Now, I also do some part time work. (I know you might not have known.) I provide a service that in some states might break some laws. I "handle" certain people "BOSSES" that do employees wrong. It is a small business with just one employee, me. (makes it hard for Grand Juries to prosicute) Of course, I cannot go into great details of my services that I provide. I do have a color brochure I can mail out if anyone needs it.
I'm posting this for a certain someone to maybe lighten their day. We all work hard and to have an ungrateful boss just ain't right. The person I'm posting this for would never in a million years use my service. I'm just letting them know that if they need anything, if anyone needs anything, I'm just a phone call away.
I can post a few "hypothetical" services I can provide:
- Horse heads = $2200
- Alibis = $2100
- Wood bats = $2000
- Arson = $2000 (+15% fuel sur-charge)
- Random vandalism = $1800
- "Talk" to family members = $1700
- Brake jobs / lack of brake jobs = $1500
- Birthday parties = call for quote (hey, the economy is slow for us "bent" nose guys)
I give a 100% family and friends discount. Yes, that means free Fick! I hope all of you got a good smile out of this. I know that last week was hard for me as well........
4 comments:
Do you give readers of your blog a discount too? I have an office manager that could use a knee replacement. This lady was ment for your services. What is a horse head?
OHHHH Beth, you don't mess with the family. I put in a link for the horse head and a brief description of what happens before the scene.
When Hollywood producer Jack Woltz refuses to cast Johnny Fontane in his new war film, Don Corleone sends Tom Hagen to suggest he reconsider. Woltz, however, bitter over a girl that Johnny stole from him, stubbornly refuses.
Woltz: ...just tell him he should ask me anything else. But this is one favor I can't give him.
Hagen: He never asks a second favor when he's been refused the first, understood?
Woltz: You don't understand. Johnny Fontane never gets that movie. And I'm gonna run him out of the business...
The next morning, Woltz wakes to find himself sleeping next to the severed head of his favorite prized horse, a $600,000 stud named Khartoum. The big-shot Hollywood producer begins screaming hysterically.
I did know the line but forgot the names. (I had to look up Woltz and the horses name, I did know the others!)
Duhhh. I should have gotten the Godfather ref. We should talk about the horse head for my office manager.
That hits the nail on the head! And the horse head thing could actually be used in my case. (if you catch the irony!) And being family, I can appreciate both your knowledge of the services that you "provide", and the discount. I might have to start saving my hard earned wages for a rainy, wet-slick-road, day. Thanks for the laugh!
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